The other morning, National Public Radio publicized a clinical study revealing that working mothers multitask more frequently than working fathers and are more likely to worry that they are inadequate parents. Talk about a perceptive glimpse into the obvious. As my friend, also an oncologist and a mother of young children, commented, “They must have published that study in the journal Duh!”

I have two young sons, ages 8 and 11. They are wonderful boys who have had to endure having me as a mother. I could whine that my life is difficult, balancing a career as an oncologist and raising young children, but that would just seem trite. Many other men and women have it much tougher than I have and I count my blessings every day.

But I certainly have some emotionally difficult days. For example, this morning, my 8-year-old son had a strings concert at school but I missed it because I was at the San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium. Children grow up so fast and I am acutely aware that one day, I am going to miss these days. On the other hand, I had important professional commitments at the meeting that I didn’t want to miss.

Many trainees, men and women, have asked me how best to balance work and family. Gosh, I wish I had the answer. But I do think that there are two requirements. One: Love what you do. Your kids can tell if you love your job. Two: A supportive partner makes life a whole lot easier. He or she can attend the strings concert that you missed. (Is my guilt obvious?)

On the plus side, there are some benefits to being a mom and a doc. Now that my kids are getting older, I have seen them puff out their chests and tell their friends with pride, “My mom is a doctor.” Or when I had to leave home for a hospital emergency, “You’re off to save the day!”

So I guess my advice to oncologist parents is that we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves!